Viral Infections as Energetic Upgrades
I've always thought of viruses as little energetic programs with the potential to subtly upgrade your entire system. If your system needs the upgrade, you contract the illness. That's why some people get it and others don't. How deeply in resonance you are to the particular "program" determines how intensely you experience the symptoms. Two people with the same cold, for example, can experience it very differently. This became very clear to me last year when I contracted the flu, and within a couple of hours of doing so, was able to identify the "program," feel the shadow desire I had to run it, release that desire with shadow work, and then completely clear the virus from my body. I was so shocked by the experience, I didn't tell a soul about it until many months later. It was the first time I'd exerted that level of choice. Honestly, it was a little frightening. That experience helped me understand there's a certain level of agreement necessary for a virus to take hold in your body. Have you ever been too busy to get sick or have something too important going on, and even though the people around you get sick, you don't? Or have you ever recognized the precise moment you've gotten sick, even though you don't have any obvious symptoms? I believe that's because there's more choice in illness than we normally think. We're just not aware of that choice because it's made subconsciously. If you refuse the program, you don't get sick. Conversely, if you agree, even subconsciously, some part of you has accepted it, and you "just know" you're sick. So why would we ever agree to getting sick? Because each of those little viral packets also offers a gift. Yes, it will take you into suffering and pain and powerlessness, but in feeling all of those difficult feelings, you may transcend them, or reach a new understanding, or realize you'd like to experience less suffering and pain and powerlessness. You'll also be forced to practice intense self-care and self-love, because you'll have no choice but to be with yourself. Viruses offer a no-guilt way to put yourself first. It's easier to say no to all kinds of things when you're sick. And if you do come to some understanding or reach a place where you're ready to clear some old energy from your field, the virus then becomes an incredible clearing mechanism for the body. All of that old energy will go into mucous, sweat and vomit, or it'll be burned up in fever, or shaken loose from the body by chills. Sometimes our wounds are so deep and our holding so strong, that's what it takes. And sometimes we know that, and that's why we agree.
A few weeks ago, I contracted back-to-back viruses, and the experience of working through them really demonstrated all of this to me in a very personal way. It all came on the heels of a very empowering experience that I was having a hard time integrating. I could feel my own programming against integrating all that personal power. It was soul-level, going back many lifetimes, with many layers. I wanted to hold that positive energy really badly and yet, I knew I was at my edge.
The first virus to come to my rescue was a stomach bug. It hit me hard, right in the gut, or in the third chakra - the power center. I lay on the bathroom floor, utterly powerless, feeling like I was staring down death. At one point, I felt a strong flash of heat go through my body, starting at my core and quickly radiating out like a wave, like something deep inside me being set free from its shackles. Within minutes, the physical discomfort of the virus lessened. By the next morning, I felt tired, but clear. In facing my sense of powerlessness, I believe that particular virus helped me claim a little more of my personal will.
The second virus started in the throat, created a whole lot of congestion and then settled on my vocal chords and in my chest. For days, I had trouble speaking clearly, though I coughed loudly and often. The congestion settled directly on my soul seat (which lies in the upper chest above the heart chakra), and I could feel all the soul-level inner conflict, like a back-and-forth argument. The conflict was over being seen, and I was stuck in an either-or dilemma: don't be seen/heard at all, or show up in a shouting-from-the-rooftops-kind-of-way. In this purely dualistic conflict, there seemed to be no other option, and the virus was mirroring that deeply-held belief back to me. I could sit mutely, or I could cough loudly...there was no in between. The virus had recreated a symbolic version of my soul-level dilemma, and I had no choice but to sit in it. I either struggled to speak, or struggled to be quiet. Both were exquisitely uncomfortable, and I had no choice except to sit in the discomfort until I found another way. I believe that particular virus ultimately helped me reclaim some of my voice, and set me up for making a different soul-level choice around questions of my own authority and showing up.
I believe that's the hidden gift of all viral infections. They take you right into your "stuff" and force you to deal with it. If you do the work, they process out all that old energy for you, as a bonus, making it easier for you to integrate all that new energy into your body and life. Although I hated every minute of both of those viral programs, in retrospect, it's easy to see why I agreed to run them.
